The bird and the worm
by Veelitann
Summary: When he was a child, Eren had met a little girl living at her window. After years talking to her, she suddenly disappeared, leaving him to his daily life in his new city after he moved. Years passed. But what would happen if Eren suddenly found back that girl, and if nothing about her was exactly what he'd known? (Eren/Connie) Rating may change
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Every single day in their holidays, , they spent their time playing outside. It was the same every summer: they didn't move to the seaside, or mountains, or anything like this. They stayed there, at home. They simply lived in that countryside named Shinganshina, and without a good enough amount of money, they couldn't go anywhere else than…Home.

Every day passing by, the boy had to wake up there. In that small room he had to share with his friend. Actually, he was almost about to call her his sister, he couldn't think of her in another way. A pretty girl, the same age as him or almost, named Mikasa. When they were younger, almost babies, he asked her where her parents were gone and never understood her silence. According to his parents, they were "gone". Ok, gone. And what else?

Mikasa stayed with them since their childhood –and they were still in, no matter how you look at it. Being a 7years old child doesn't mean you're mature. It also doesn't mean you are not, and Eren took it for him : he would make sure to be mature enough. And be able to protect his pretty sister.

Well. That's what he thought as a boy, and as a fighter, always looking for some new fights to show his skills –which was actually were closer to showing his fists and threatening other boys for them not to approach her.

And well.

He couldn't help but always ended fighting with someone, especially another boy from their neighborhood, Jean Kirshtein. That boy was a dork and nothing else, and even his sweet friend –wait, maybe his name was Marco?- couldn't stop them from fighting. Again and again.

But not today.

Today was a special day, and when Eren opened his eyes, it was hard to figure out what was happening. Especially finding a response to the question "why that smell?" as something pretty delicious hit his nostrils.

Today was his mother's birthday.

Today was the day his dad was going to spend all his time in the kitchen, cooking and yelling at himself for not being able to make everything perfect.

Today was the day his mother would allow them to go out without her: she would be busy helping her husband.

Today was going to be a great, sunny and hot day.

The doors and windows were already opened all over the house to let the coolness of the morning enter for the day.

Without taking the time to make his bed –mum was going to do it after all-, Eren rushed out of his room. He rushed downstairs, sounded like some of an elephant in the wood stairs. He jumped over the last stair to avoid it –he hated the last stair because of the sound it did every time he put a feet on it.

And then, after all those warnings, he stopped at the entrance of the lounge. She was there, sitting in the sofa, straight and sweet as she was each passing day. Her auburn hair on her shoulder, eyes half-closed when she was reading the news before putting her glasses on her little nose.

No need to hurry anymore, and Eren walked to her. He knew his smile may have reach each of his ears and he really didn't care. Mom was mom.

"Happy birthday mummy!" he suddenly yelled, trying to catch her by surprise in her back.

When she turned her eyes to him, a light smile was already on her face. Sitting beside her, Mikasa gave him a annoyed look, asking how he could be that noisy in the morning.

"I'm not noisy!"

"You are. But I like it, I don't know how to be noisy. That's cool."

Every time Mikasa said things like that, Eren would turn a light pink and his mother would laugh slightly. And rather than letting her control his reactions, the boy cleared his throat and smiled again.

"Of course I'm cool!"

That was kind of a typical day. Breakfast. Laughing –choking while laughing as he was eating at the same time. Then, a shower. Finally had to make his bed by himself –after all, it was mum's birthday, no way he would let her do that. Dressing up -that tee-shirt and those short trousers. Basket shoes. Just because they looked cool with his today clothes.

It was already being hot outside, and every window was closed for a while, leaving the inside of the house in half darkness.

Light. Sun. Heat. Everything he liked.

The grass was dry even after the cool night. He could roll on it, it wouldn't paint his clothes with some weird green dirt.

In their neighborhood, there was a lot of other houses. They almost all knew each other, and many of the children used to play to the same area, not so far. Thanks to the proximity, his parents allowed them to play alone. They knew the other parents would take a good look on both them.

Once a year –actually at his mother's birthday- Eren went on a "discovery hourney" as he called it himself. That's what he decided the year before actually.

Well, he was alone –Mikasa didn't go out that day for once. And what's more nobody was out to look after him. It was too early in the morning.

Freedom.

The year before, he already went by that street, and the one after. Houses everywhere. But he knew that after that street, there was a small garden where anybody could pass by. So he did. The green grass was highly colorful, and a good amount of flowers where showing off their sweet colors to the view.

Something nice and soft. Or he'd rather say : the place was well maintained by its owners.

"The balloon!"

Eren started. It was a small voice, but a little high pitch. He gave many looks where he could, until he found it. A girl, not really younger than him, at a window. Raising his eyes on her, he couldn't manage a sound at first.

"Can you hear me?"

Caramel-colored eyes. A slightly tanned skin. A dark wavy hair that fell on her narrow shoulders. That tiny snub nose, and right under, that small and pouting mouth.

It was the cutest little girl he had ever seen in his all life –and God knows, seven years were so long to live!

She was pointing something with a finger by the open window, and he raised his eyes to the direction. In a small tree, there was a light blue balloon stuck between the branches. Quite proud of being chosen for this work, he gave a look at the girl.

"It's yours?"

She nodded, putting her lips together in a thin line, like a baby would have done.

"Well, what's my prize if I get it back?"

He couldn't see her body. She looked actually too short to reach the edge of the window with more than here shoulders. Himself he was to small to reach the window itself by the outside. The floor in the inside of the house may be upper that the grass.

At that moment, she blinked at him and looked like she was hesitating. Or just a little. The second after, a large smile enlightened her face and she clapped her hands with some happiness.

"I will tell you a nice story!"

"Not interesting, I'm not a girl!"

Quite offended, she opened her mouth in a large O and clapped her hands on the edge of the window, right in front of her. Almost at the same level as her face. Rather cute. He felt a large amount of pride growing in his chest at the idea of showing her what a great man he was, but couldn't help teasing her a little.

"Pleaaaase," she pouted, pursing up her lips.

The balloon wasn't moving at all. There was no wind so maybe he had a chance to get it. It wasn't very high, and a lot of frames were there to help him climb.

And he couldn't resist with that face of hers.

"Kay, look at me, I'll be your new god! Cheer me up!"

"Yes, sure!"

He could hear her small hands clapping in his back along with her pitchy voice. He wasn't used to such a situation: Mikasa wasn't a girl who needed help even if he managed to make up the situation. She always let him act that way, maybe not to hurt his manliness. Or honor. But at this age, there was no real difference.

The wood kind of hurt his fingers when he started climbing on the tree, but the sounds behind him were actually more encouraging than what he thought at first. He was about to fall, many times. And many times, hearing the small screams in his back, he managed to take his balance back and climb higher.

"That was easy, eh!" he proudly said one his feet were back to the ground, the balloon in his hand, and trying to make his leg stop shaking so hard.

"You're a hero!" she applauded.

She had a crystal laugh, and a bright smile. Then she seemed to think a little and shake her head softly before pointing at him. In her other hand, she was holding tightly the base of the balloon.

"Ah, non you're not!" she finally said.

"Hey, I've got you balloon back!"

"Yeah! ANd it's wonderful! You were flying in the tree like a bird!"

"Then I'm a hero!"

"No, you're a bird!"

Eren blinked a few times, trying to figure out was she was saying. No fucking way!

"No, I'm not!" he pouted. "Birds are for girls! You must be the bird!"

Once again, she shake her head.

"No! I'm a worm!" She replied with strength.

He opened his eyes wide, looking at her face.

"Wha-what?"

It was hard not to giggle at that. She looked sure of herself. The second after, she was watching her rescued balloon.

"You can fly," she explained. "So you're a bird!"

He nodded, waiting for the second –the weirdest- part of her speech.

"Worms live in apples and can't fly! So I'm the worm!"

"I'm sure you can fly," he said with a laugh.

"Na!"

It was a weird and funny story. But she was actually telling it to him as promised. She continued.

"Do you know what happens between birds and worms?"

Eren raised an eyebrow and sit under the window, his gaze raised on her small face. Like that, he could see only her big light brown eyes and the tip of her nose.

"Birds eat worms!" he said.

And God, did he know he was right!

But her eyes fell on him, with that look...The one that means you said something terrible.

"You're awful!" she cried.

"Wait, I…!"

"They fall in love!"

Tanned skin. But blue eyes.

Long hair, but ginger.

A cute smile, but not that tiny snub nose of hers.

In town, you can observe a large amount of people. They all have something similar but they're definitely…Different. In any way. Same nose but different eyes, same ears but different lips, same skin but different hair.

"Hey, what're you looking at?"

Eren blenched when the words reached his ear and gave a look at his friend. The small blonde was sitting by his side, waiting for him to find some way to get through the situation.

"Butts," he answered without even thinking of it.

"Oh god!" Armin sighed. "When will you stop acting like a jerk?"

Eren growled a little, then smiled slightly at his friend. They were both in his small box office, looking for the next job they'll have to do.

Eren Jaegger was going on his twenty-three.

After he graduated from elementary school, he went to some casual primary school in Shiganshina without thinking about his future. Studies and playing with his friends were his daily motivations for many years.

Or rather, he tried to get it as his main motivations.

By the age of seven, he met someone. That little girl, with that dark and wavy hair, those caramel eyes and that small and pouting mouth. He could remember the very first day he saw her, when he had to climb a tree to take her balloon back. He couldn't remember nor the color of the balloon nor the size. He just knew she was there, cheering him up with her cute little voice.

That day, Eren stayed a few hours, sitting under the window where the girl was leaning at (or rather, she was kind of trying, as she was to small for him to see more than her neck). He didn't learn a lot about her. She wasn't even the one to tell him about her name: he just heard her mother calling her, coming in the room at the same time.

Her name was Connie, surnamed 'Con' by her mother. The woman looked a little harsh and nice at the same time, and it was something really weird to feel. Himself he was used to his own mother, who was just an amount of sweetness and love to Mikasa and him.

Connie's mother didn't see him the first times.

Because yeah, he managed to come a few more times at first. Most of the time, he took advantage of how late parents allowed their children to go out and never told his own parents he was going alone. Even if he was getting used to it (actually he was trying to act all by himself and make Connie proud of him), they would never agree with it because of his age. He was too young. Again and again, too young.

He couldn't go to her house as much as he'd have liked and spent the whole summer trying to escape his family's grip. Every sunny days, she was there, probably sitting on the over side of the window. And every time she saw him, she'd been smiling so much.

And he liked that smile.

That cute, that bright smile. She was giving it to him. Nobody else.

Autumn and winter went slowly. When the wind became to cold to open windows all the day long, he still tried to go and see her. With his big winter coat, his wool scarf and thick wool gloves. Through the window, she was there, looking at him when he would come by right after school, leaving Mikasa with some fake reasons.

No words.

Just silly gestures. Smiles. Silent laughs for each other.

She never went out of the house, stuck every day in that room. But she never complained about that fact.

"Why should I stop looking at it?" Eren smiled teasingly at Armin.

Armin sighed slowly before grinning, putting his plastic glass empty of coffee on the desk.

"You really should find a girlfriend rather than looking to, errrr…Every women?

Eren laughed a bit, nodded with a "Yeah, yeah, you're right!" and then took the documents they were looking at. They weren't even seriously looking.

"Oh god," he finally said. "What do you think the boss means by 'children's books'?"

"He means Children's books, I guess."

"Wonderful. Fuck."

By the age of ten, Eren's family moved. Or rather, it was his father, Mikasa and himself.

His mother died in a plane crash the year before. His father, now a wrecked man, couldn't stand living in the same house anymore. Nor in the same city. They moved, far from Shiganshina, heading for another life that would help the poor man to forget and build something new with the two children.

By ten, Eren got a new home, a new city to discover, and new friends.

By ten, Eren lost the cute little girl he still managed to see and never learned new things about her for those two years, as he was pretty sure at that moment that he'd have the time to know about her life, her tastes and every little thing about her.

He was wrong.

He barely knew more than her first name and when he was able to read more easily he tried to understand the (so ugly) handwritten letters on the letterbox. Springer.

Her last name looked like those crackers his father used to buy for some occasions, when grandma and grandpa were coming for dinner. He liked Springles a lot.

"Children's books are easy to read and understand," Armin replied.

"They're stupid, just for kids to learn how to read," Eren sighed. "How boring!"

Armin didn't answer at first, but finally reached for the last magazine about literature. Their magazine, the one they were working for : The Daily Reader.

The only thing Eren really knew about Connie Springer was that she loved stories. Telling stories, creating stories, writing stories. She always had new stories to tell him. That's everything she did when they were together. She was leaning at the window. He was on the ground, sitting under the window, against the wall.

In his new city, the big Trost, Eren wrote to her. A lot.

She answered. A lot.

Long childish letters, were he told her how was his new life and were she narrated cute stories she was still imagining. The yellow bees. The white dogs. The blue butterflies. The brown trees. The green grass. The sky wasn't blue. It was a shade of azure. A colorful world she was looking through that little window.

Reality came shortly, hitting him. At the end of his first year in Trost, she stopped answering. She stopped writing back to him. And he was left alone, writing to her knowing he would never get a response to his letters, and still telling her the small details of his Trost life.

By the end of the year, his own letters came back in his letterbox. She had moved without a word.

By twenty, Eren decided to take that way. Writing. That wasn't as if he would find her back by working in something she just liked a lot. No, it wasn't it at all. He just didn't know what to do else. He could be some critic, work for a magazine, read her books, make some wonderful articles about her stories, make her happy.

But there again, reality was showing him what was life made of: her name never showed up in any books when he was looking for the new writers and their newly published books.

Her name never came.

He even thought she used a nickname or something to hide herself.

But maybe she just gave up on stories the day she grew up.

"But why did the boss asked me to work on such a subjet?" Eren grumbled.

"I remember the part where he—"

They started together when two hands appeared on both their shoulders. The long and fine fingers pinched them without taking care for the pain and the quite nasal voice came out. Bored as usual.

"I told you, brat. Your articles are ignominious; nobody wants you to write about their books."

"That…That's not true!" Eren exclaimed, turning to the man. His boss.

"Arlet!"

The voice came out loudly and Eren's shoulder became more painful.

"Y-Yes boss?"

"Remind him the last article."

Armin swallowed. Everyone in the small magazine building remembered the last incident Eren came in with just his last article.

"W-well, Eren, " he hesitated.

The young man opened his mouth under the dark gaze of his superior. The man was so much smaller than him, even than Armin, that it was always weird to see that kind of situation.

Eren shook is head. "I'm not stupid, I remember Ymir's punch in my face!"

"Great. And Hoover's one too? The article before."

It was Eren's turn to swallow hardly. "I-I remember…"

"And the others before?"

"I…"

The pain in his shoulder was awfully increasing.

"I'm sorry boss! I'm sorry!"

A sigh. "Don't be just sorry, brat. Do something with that mouth of yours."

"I-I-I can do it better, I swear I can!"

By the age of twenty-two, Eren managed to be hired in the Daily Reader and wrote articles about writers works. His feelings about it, what he thought about their stories, how it turned out in his mind.

He fucked up most of the time.

A small slap at the back of his head awoke him and he heard the man mumbling behind him. "That's not that you're bad at writing, you're pretty good at it. But you're such a big shit when you have to put it into words."

A small hope came trhough Eren, and he turned his face to the small man. From so close, the man looked just a bit less younger than he usually did. It was still impossible to figure his age, even knowing all his experiences in life and jobs.

"B-boss…!"

Hope-hope-hope-hope. He didn't want to read and write about stupid children stories. He didn't care about it. It was boring as hell.

"Find a book. There are some new authors who gave it a try lately."

"It, boss?"

"Children."

Fuck it.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fu—

Armin turned a few pages of their own magazine, looking for the part they didn't work on. New authors. And, actually the page dedicated to children's book.

"There you go, Eren," his colleague said with a small smile.

The young man pouted a little. Well. He had no choice, he thought taking the magazine. Many names were written. Titles with their writer.

How to read my life, by Wagner T.

I like my dog, by Mina C.

The bird and the worm, by Springer C.

The day I walk across the street, by…

Eren started.

Looked twice.

Swallowed.

Oh god.

Reality was gone. Childhood was back.

The bird and the worm.

By Springer C.

"Oh my fucking god… !" was all Eren managed to say properly for the whole day after he read both the name of the new children books and Connie's beside them. It wasn't real, it wasn't.

But his colleague, Armin, had to read it again, clear and loud, to him. He rubbed his face a dozen with his palms, sighing, inspiring deeply.

It was real.

It was.

"Oh fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fu—"

"Stop saying 'fuck' Eren," Armin mumbled before tossing the paper to the brown-haired man. "That's not pro… Plus! What's going on with those damn books? Last time you were all down with the idea of working on that type of books and today…Oh god! Eren, what's all that about? You—"

Even if Eren was trying to be quiet, something suddenly cut Armin in his sentence. The big sound of a box (not only big, it was pretty heavy) filled the air and they all turned their attention to the origin. Everybody was in his own box office. They could hear the discreet sound of the tip toping from their two bosses' office, the only one that was separated from the big room where they were all set in open boxes.

In the middle of the room was a large and circular table, where they often met to talk and exchange together instead of yelling at each other from box to box.

Here it was.

"New arrival, guys!"

Eren felt a shudder of disgust vibrating along his spine when he put a name on the voice. He immediately put his head into his shoulders, mumbling unintelligently. Armin blinked a few times watching him, and then he finally understood: a big paper box had been placed on the table, and the young man who did it was just…

Jean Kirshtein.

"Jesus, Eren," he sighed. "what's with that face, everytime you hear or see that guy?"

"He's stupid!" Eren hissed.

"You know he's not. You hate him that much?"

"No, I…! Oh fuck, I DO !"

Leaning on his chair, Armin laughed gently at Eren's face. His cheeks were getting a nice shade of dark red, not the kind of red he would see on a man-in-love-with-a-man but something more like rivalry.

"I still don't get it anyway, you just got hired last year but he was already a member of the team…I remember you disliked him before even seeing him, by the way!"

"I told you, Armin, we know each other from Shinganshina!"

"Ah, hum, maybe…?"

Eren rolled his eyes. Well, that wasn't as if he explained it several times to the blond man. But it was, and here he was again, dealing with the guy's bad memory. He clearly remembered Jean from the time he lived in Shinganshina, even if the blond wasn't from the small country city. Jean was coming by summers only, just here to follow his family taking a break at his grandmother's house. He was there for only two months and it was enough: Eren couldn't stand that boy, his manners, his way of talking. Jean was a dork.

Years after he moved in Trost, Eren didn't hear of Jean. More than anything, he forgot his existence and lived without thinking about it. But there again was the magic of life and reality.

Jean worked at the exact place he asked for a job and got hired.

He was fucking (un)lucky.

Armin shrugged a little before standing up from his chair. "Well, you don't like him but at least don't let your feelings ruin your work!"

Around the table, they were already sitting, waiting for getting their new work. The new arrival was a huge pack of new books they've been ordering, according to what they decided.

" 'Kay guys," Jean said while he was taking the first books he could reach in the large box. "Horror section, here!"

Two people stood up and as for every distribution, Eren raised a eyebrow, trying to figure out the reason why this section was only counting on those two women. The shorter was wearing small glasses, a bit hidden behind her white hair (he couldn't see if it was dyed or anything, or if it was natural as she looked so young), and glanced harshly at Jean when she took the book she asked for. The other one was incredibly sweet. Or rather, she looked like so younger and sweet that he really couldn't understand how she was able to read that type of books. With her hair separated in two masses, she was definitely not that type.

He always thought the two of them were quite weird, reading and enjoying such reading. ESPECIALLY WITH THAT FUCKING BIG SMILE !

"Well, next…Love section, c'mere…" Jean called.

Armin didn't sit for long and Eren gave him a long look as he was walking toward Jean to take his books. Several books actually. Well, everybody already knew it : Armin was pretty clever. Too much, in fact. So, the direction had a deal with him, allowing him to work more than the others. Yeah, they did ALLOW him. Armin had that need to work a lot, more and more, to use his brain until he forget everything around him. That might have been the reason everybody had to sometimes recall him about small things.

"One, two, three…Well, here's the eighth, Armin!"

Jean let out a smile when he put the last book in the man's arms, trying to help him equilibrate the pile of books. "Gonna be ok?" he laughed slightly. Armin nodded with a soft smile, visibly already thinking of the way he'd take care of all that work. Then he came back to his seat next to Eren, still with that smile not leaving his face.

"Uh, you…You're ok with reading and writing about all those books for next month?" Eren asked him in a low voice.

Armin glanced at him with some surprise. "Next month? I'll be done in two weeks. Maybe next one if I'm bored."

Eren squeaked a bit at the answer, not sure of how he should take it. He himself was always so slow at reading, taking his time and trying to think about everything he could take from the book.

"You're amazing…" he muttered.

Armin blushed at it, turning his eyes to the books while Jean was still calling for the various sections waiting for their orders.

"I-I'm not, really…!"

"You bet, you are! You're the only one able to work with such a deadline, here!"

Armin shook his head, blushing more and more until he turned in a deep shade of red.

"Th-that's not right," he said. "Our boss is better than me…"

"You mean Mr. Smith?"

"No, boss Levi!"

"Whaaaaa-"

"Children section!" Jean called.

The man may have been calling several times: his voice went out louder than usual and he looked quite annoyed. More than usual.

Mumbling to himself, Eren stood up and headed to Jean, reaching out a hand to get his books. But Jean didn't go this way, giving a look to the two books he had in hands and raised an eyebrow at Eren.

"Children books?" he asked before grinning. "I didn't know you were that type of reader! Detective novels were that difficult for you?"

"Shut up Kirshtein!"

Jean sneered a bit but suddenly stopped when he saw the cover of the second book. "Wait, you're reading Springer's?"

Without knowing why, Eren felt his cheeks turn red, becoming quite hot until his ears. "Tha-that's none of your business!"

With another smile, Jean shrugged calmly. "Relax man. Not your fault if you never heard about those books. We all know you're limited."

Eren's view started to get red.

But before he could even think about hitting Jean, two hands had already caught him by the arms to immobilize him. There wasn't any noise anymore. Eren couldn't move, stopped by some incredible strength. Nobody was talking anymore. And every pair of eyes were focusing on him. Or rather on the person behind him.

Actually he knew who.

But the voice that came just confirmed his thoughts.

"Hey, aren't you done yet, Kirshtein? We're not paying you to play around with your brat friends. "

"L-Levi! I'm sorry, I-I was just s-surprised by his choice…"

Somehow, the mas in his back managed to make Eren sit on the closest chair without even asking him for his opinion. Feeling the squeeze on his poor arms made his sudden anger go away and he rubbed his painful skin, tightening his lips firmly.

"I decided for him to change his type of reading, " Levi continued before crossing his arms on his chest. "You have something to say?"

"Oh, yeah, I see, I see, well, it-it might be better like that!"

"Go ahead brat, you have a lot of work!"

"Yes sir!"

On the table, Jean had put the two books ordered for Eren. The first one… Well, Eren didn't really care. It was some usual children book, entitled "I'm home" and it wasn't really interesting to him. It was for children, right. He didn't like that type of books.

But the other one was different. The first cover was quite simple: the title "The bird and the worm", and right under it, the name of the author "Connie Springer" were written. A big title in black round letters. The 'o' of 'worm' was made with a small worm smiling to the reader. 'Connie Springer' was written so tightly, so small.

Right under, it was just an apple. Something rather simple.

A red apple.

He could remember her, smiling and pointing to the apple tree in the small and beautiful garden. "I want an apple!" she would say.

She liked apples. Because to her, apples were the link between birds and worms. Some common house. Common food.

She liked the flavor, when the fruit was sweet and still quite hot because of the heat of the sun.

She liked red apples.

On the cover, there was a red apple. A big one, with a small hole on top of it, and he already knew it was the worm's house. The one making the 'o' above the apple.

He recognized it.

This drawing.

It was hers. When he came and visited her, she had drawn a lot about this story. Her favorite.

It was her. She was still somewhere. She was still herself, still the same as before. He turned the pages a little, sniffed a bit while he gave a look at the illustrations. Every page had one.

A hand touched his shoulder and he shuddered, raising his gaze to the black-haired man who was still standing next to him. "Hey, don't cry brat. I already told you it wasn't a suspension!"

"I'm not crying!"

A sigh.

"You are. Wipe your eyes off."

Fuck.

The coffe was kind of crowded. Sometimes a cigarette fragrance would come from the outside, with the tinker bell ringing furiously. Once more. Eren sighed a little, lowing his eyes down to the book on the table. What should be 'Connie's children book' actually. Thoughtful, heopened the first page. He had done this move so many times in the whole week that he wasn't sure anymore of what je really wanted to check in it each time he was opening it again. Again and a gain.

Drawings. By a child. He knew those drawings. He saw them when he was a child. When she showed him every step of the cute story she'd created. On the first page, a cute and small worm wassliding on the ground, fighting against the grass. Something so high and so hard for such a little creature. And every time he remembered about her serious face when she explained the adventures of the poor worm lost in the grass, he couldn't help but smile. The worm was looking for something. It was raining like hell, Connie had drawn those blue lines to illustrate it. So the worm was looking for a house. Some comfortable place to stay and live at.

And the worm found a tree, climbing on it and found an apple. A gorgeous one, so sweet and juicy. It became soon a cute house, in the apple itself. Connie had drawn something like a warm glow, and Eren remembered pretty well how he made fun of her and those yellow and orange lines running all over the small apartment looks that was in the apple. She wanted it to feel like 'home'. Eren smiled at the small curved line she had put to make the worm smile. "The worm is happy!" She'd said.

He sighed, turning the pages. The rain was over. The worm was still living in the apple. And from a small window ("Oh god Connie, a window in an apple?" "He wants to see te outside!") he could see a bird. A little one actually but it was bigger than the worm from so far! And the bird was flying, jumping from a branch to another, eating from an apple to another in this apple tree. Or at least that was what was written: he barely managed to see a bird in that drawing and it made him laugh the first time he looked at it. She had pouted. Again. As usual. And it was cute.

"Hey, Eren! Sorry for making you wait so long, I needed to finish some things!"

The young manstarted a little as he was staring at the multitude of red colored hearts flying all around the worm's head (could he even call that a 'head'? It was just a fucking worm!) and gave a light smile at Armin who just entered in the coffee.

"No problem," he said, "are you done with your work?"

Armin almost let himself fell on the high stool, sighing deeply. "I swear I am!" he laughed softly. "One more to go and I've finished."

He softly sighed, ordering some cappuccino as a server was already waiting for his order, then smiled back to Eren.

"But tell me," he added, "what was that sms about? I mean, you looked so happy to work on that book…"

The scowl on Eren's face came back and Armin immediately frowned at it. "What's the matter?" He looked down, and only at that moment he noticed the book, opened wide on the small circle table. "Want to show me?" Eren shook his head slowly before he turned another page again.

"I don't know," he murmured. "There's something…Well, I thought I'd found Connie, That's true, but you know…What if it wasn't it at all?"

A new sigh. Eren raised an eyebrow and looked up at Armin who was eyeing the draw of the bird standing in front of the small apple-window (or whatever it could be).

"You've been talking about 'Connie' for so long," Armin began. "And now that you have something to follow, I mean maybe it's a track to keep, you're giving up on it right away?"

"BUT! That…Well, that's not something Connie would have written and…"

Armin gave a small smack on the table, scaring a little the server who was already back with his drink. After some sweet apologies, Armin came back to Eren, with a deepscowl.

"Ok," he said before pointing the book with his finger. "So this isn't Connie's? that's what you were saying in your message by 'that fucking can't be her book'?"

Eren hesitated a little. "W-well…That's weird actually…"

"What?"

"These are her drawings, no doubts about it…" Eren mumbled, turning another page.

On this one, the worm was trying to make wings in his living room, getting sad not to be able to fly. And oh god, a crying worm? Somehow it felt sad. Really sad, and he couldn't point out the real reason. He'd never seen that drawing before.

"But there's one thing that is not 'her'…"

"Tell me?"

Eren looked a bit confused, lost, Armin could say. It was obvious that he wanted to see his 'Connie' in this book but the fear that he could be wrong or discover something different than his old memories was strong. Armin could understand: life was made of times like this. For a moment, the brown-haired man kept silent and he waited patiently for Eren to think before talking. Ah, his cappuccino was being a little cold already. He didn't like it a lot. Warm drinks were the best when the weather was that cold outside.

Eren's fingers touched the corner of a page, about to turn it. On this one, the worm was facing the bird, smiling with all his heart, his poor paper wings on his back, one of them already almost falling.

"When she was telling me this story, it was all made of…Fun, and happiness," he began with a small voice. "I liked teasing her with her drawings and all those little things…"

Armin gave a look at Eren then went back to his mug, listening to him. "But?"

Eren pursed his lips a little, in a pouting face, like a child. "I told you, I don't know…When I've read it the first time, I was looking for the story I've heard from her when we were kids…"

"It wasn't?"

"The topic is the same, the story looks alike…" Eren shrugged softly. "But the story is…Different…It should be something cute, I really enjoyed it when she was narrating it…However it's…Well, I feel weird, sad even, when I read it…And I'm not even talking about the end…"

Armin left his mug again, raising an eyebrow with curiosity. "The end?"

Eren nodded. "Well, what do you think about a bird and a worm?"

Armin blinked a few times at the question, trying to figure out what the guy had in mind. But he finally smiled, shaking his head. "I've already read that book, Eren," he said. "I know what happens."

"So…"

Eren turned the last page in a slow movement, tightening his lips in a thin line. He hated that drawing. The red on the white paper. The flesh on the ground, or something that looked like that. Small pinkish parts of the worm's body.

The bird ate the worm.

"So tell me, Armin," he murmured. "Tell me why the bird didn't fall in love with the worm…?"

Something went wrong on that book. The last page was different from the others. The drawing was, too. He was able to see the difference in a child's drawing, and a teen or adult's. This last one wasn't a child's.

Maybe an adult.

And somehow, Eren felt pretty bad. It was like something had happened in all those years, something hard enough to change the personality he'd known years ago. Something bad enough to change that love story.

"Why are you talking about love?" he suddenly heard. "Connie had to deal with a lot of things since childhood. I just think it's an interpretation of how life has been 'til now…"

This time, Eren stared at Armin, trying to understand. He didn't really know how to take his words, and hesitated quite a lot before asking. "What…Uh, what do you mean, Armin…?"

"Well."

Armin tried to drink his cappuccino before continuing. It was cold. Definitely. And he winced a little.

"Actually, I know the Connie Springer who wrote that book…"

A blank in Eren's head. 'WHAT THE FUCK!?' was the only thing that came across his mind as his eyes were opening big and wide.

"B-b-b-b-but…"

"It's hi-"

Armin suddenly coughed a little, then: "It's her birthday today, we're celebrating it tonight."

Which day were they? Feeling his heart suddenly racing in his chest, Eren gave a look at his cellphone to check the date of the day, and felt a shiver running slowly along his spine.

Ok.

Calm down.

It was also the same day as her birthday. The Connie that Eren knew.

"O-okay…," he managed to say.

"You're ok? You look weird."

Eren nodded. In just a sentence, Armin had made a mess of him and his mind. How comes that guy knew Connie? Was he even serious about it? But Armin wasn't the type of person who makes fun of others. It was rather the reverse. Armin looked quite natural while talking about it. Maybe he couldn't understand the importance of all that for his colleague? Probably.

"I'm ok, I think…" he finally mumbled.

Armin pushed a little his mug to Eren. He wasn't going to drink it, after all, so Eren took the cappuccino. There wasn't as much coffee as he was used to drink, and there was too much sugar but well, it wasn't that bad.

Armin chuckled a little. "You should see your face! You're scared?"

All of a sudden, Eren felt his face growing red. A deep red.

"I'm not! I'm a grown man!"

"But well, if I understand everything now…"

Eren swallowed, before taking a drink.

"Connie was your first love!"

Surprised like hell, Eren spitted the drink on the floor, trying to avoid the book as much as possible. "What the fuck are you saying, you dumbass!?"

The laugh that answered him was quite relaxing. At that moment only, the young man noticed how tensed up he was. Why? Really, why was he taking all that so seriously?

Connie was just a little girl he met when they were children, right?

She'd just been the reason for his main actions in life, nothing more, right?

And she was just the one who wrote that book.

Right?

"But…Wait a second…," Eren suddenly realized. "Sh-she's living here? In Trost, I mean?"

Armin nodded softly, checking a few seconds for his messages on his cellphone.

"Yeah, he—she'd moved here some years ago. Long time, actually," Armin mumbled, kind of inconsiderate as he was typing a reply to someone.

"I didn't know…"

"You're pale. If you don't want to come, you don't have to…"

"NO!"

Armin started at the loud tone, as for some customers around them, surprised by Eren. Himself was wondering what had happened, and tried to act as if nothing had happened.

"I-I mean, I'd really like to come and…And meet her…"

"Ok then. I just have to warn you before."

Eren frowned. "Eh, you didn't say there would be conditions!"

"Not that. Just, don't act like a dick. Berthold and some others will be there tonight."

"Wha—"

"Old friends."

"How comes!?"

"Same high school and college."

"Oh damn it, Armin, stop with those sms and make complete sentences!"

The blond man laughed a little, putting his phone on the table. "Usually you don't really care about that. I guess that's something important to you, then?"

"That isn't—"

"You're already a dick, just admit you want to see her so bad."

"I think I hate you."

"Great! Well, there will be tons of people you don't know. I was messaging the one preparing the party to say there would be someone else with me."

Eren blushed a little. Was it that terrible to have another person if they were that numerous?

"Is it that bad?"

"Na, just…Some of them are not at ease with strangers."

"I…I see…"

"You regret you decision? Going back home tonight?"

Eren gave Armin a sudden dark glare. What was his fucking problem?

"NO! I'M COMING!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

'Why' ?

Well, that had to be the only question at the moment. Holding back a loud sigh, Eren turned his attention to the window of the car. When Armin had come to his apartment, later after they met that day, the young man was quite lost, trying to choose which one of his shirts or tee-shirts he should wear for that party. He didn't know anybody else than Armin, or almost. "Berthold will be there", the Blondie had reminded him. Well, it was actually the same as if he knew no one, and Eren hoped that his boyfriend wouldn't be here for the night.

"I'm sure the dark one is great, don't make that face!"

Armin was laughing softly while driving. His hair was now long enough to tie it in a ponytail, and his own outfit for the party was rather simple. Or rather, it looked like that to Eren. Maybe because he used to dress up like this every day? Armin was the type of person who dressed quite classy even with no reason. It was something normal to him. White shirt. Dark trousers. It might be the reason why his authors had to problem to be interviewed if ever he asked them. Eren didn't dare ask to his own authors. They just hated him, so what was the need?

"That's not about it!" Eren mumbled.

He'd hidden his fingers under his thighs, trying not to show his shaking and get quieter. But it was rather useless: he was fucking excited. And oh god, it was Connie's birthday and he was about to see her after so many years thinking about her! Why shouldn't he be excited? It was just the best reason in the world to feel like that!

"Whatever happens tonight, don't make any wave. Get it?"

Armin's tone was neutral. But not his sentence. What did he mean by it?

"What's that?" Eren asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing, I just know how you are, and I'm pretty sure you're gonna have some, well…Bad reactions? You're hot-tempered, so…"

"Wait-wait-wait! Why should I act like that today more that another day?"

"Dunno, a feeling?"

Eren pursed his lips slowly, trying to imagine any reason to do such a thing –especially when he was going to see _her_, so he was…Just excited about that last thing.

"You're fucking weird, Armin…" he murmured, crossing his arms on his chest.

"And you're a fucking homophobic dick, Eren, and I know it better than anybody," Armin replied.

Eren winced a little. "I'm not a homopho—"

"You are, and you know it too."

"Crap. I wonder why you asked me to come…"

"I warn you, no homophobic slurs, in any way."

"I'm not stupid!"

"Being as hot-tempered as you might mean being stupid."

"You—"

"I'm used to your way of talking, Eren, and I can deal with it, but make an effort tonight. Be nice with Berthold, for example. Or, actually, with whoever you're going to meet."

Eren scowled a little in his sit, looking at the road. The silence around them was growing more and more as he didn't even bother answer to Armin, and a sudden idea crossed his mind. Berthold Hoover would be present tonight. That meant he knew Connie well enough, didn't he? But with what he wrote about him, what if the tall man had told Connie about him? And about what had happened? What if she thought Eren was just some bastard? (Or maybe he really was, if he listened too carefully to Armin and his warnings.)

Finally, Eren mumbled, his mouth half hidden behind his hand. "I don't care about you being homo…But I still think that you could find some nice girl to live with, uh…"

Armin sniggered a little at Eren. "That's the type of things you'd rather be careful about before talking."

"Eh, I do think you—"

"But I don't really mind going out with a 'cute' and 'soft' girl, you know."

"Oh god, not that again…" Eren sighed. "I still don't get how you can like something like Rambo, that's so tough, not sweet at all!"

Armin let out a small laugh, trying to stay concentrate on the road. "Oh man," he chuckled. "Not exactly Rambo, but well…"

Eren thrummed his forehead for a second, right above his nose, trying to imagine. And oh god, no way. He was just able to see Armin with something like Rambo or some mountain of muscles. "I don't get it!"

Armin shrugged. "Well, maybe I need to be hugged and not the reverse?"

"No-fuking-way, that's so fucking gay!"

"Stop saying 'fucking', that's not proper."

"Yeah, yeah, 'mum."

"Good boy. Ah, that door!"

In a instant, Eren was back to his excitation, his anxiety coming back to him so fast. It was a small house, stuck between two others, bigger. The walls were red, like an old building. There wasn't any place for a garden. After parking his car not far, Armin led him to the place. A small noise was coming from the inside, a small clamor actually. It was still early –not even nine-, and they could hear some big drunk laughs.

"Sounds…Lively?" Eren said.

He could feel his heart beat so fast that he thought he was going to have an attack at any moment. That was so stupid! He almost felt like some teenager girl, or something like that. And it was quite shabby to him.

"They're always like that", Armin laughed gently as he was already pushing the dark red door.

The first thing Eren saw was the –so large- hallway. Something simple, with white walls, and a small and cute table against one of those walls. Some paintings on the walls, quite high from the floor. A bit farther, a young woman was crossing the corridor, walking from a room to another, and she suddenly stopped, finally heading to them. A large smile on her face, she first came to Armin who was one step before Eren.

"Armin! You're finally here!"

"Hi, Sasha! Yeah, sorry, some trouble with the traffic…"

"No problem! But you know that when you come after nine, Jean is already drunk like hell!"

Eren gasped a little at the name, crossing his fingers in some hope, and Armin chuckled a bit. The young woman, Sasha, was rather pretty, her big brown eyes all focused on Armin. What a pity, really, that the Blondie didn't even give his attention to such a girl!

"Oh god, he tries to be so righteous at work and he's the first one to drink like a hole!"

Eren chocked this time, trying to stay discreet. OKAY, seemed that Jean-fucking-Kirstein was here too. Holy shit, why!?

"Ah, that's the friend you told me?"

Eren straightened a little when he heard her, putting his best fucking sweet smile on his own face. Armin nodded, stepping on his left to let Eren come closer. "Yeah, this is Eren. Eren, Sasha is an old friend, and Connie's room-mate."

"Ah, hum, nice to meet you!"

"Ah, I know that name!" she immediately ranted. She didn't even give a fuck to his wonderful smile. Ok, that began pretty well. Really. But he finally got her words and raised an eyebrow, a bit surprised. And, he should admit, full of hope.

"You know my name?"

Maybe Connie had talked about him? So she didn't forget about him? Sasha's smile grew bigger and she nodded. "Yeah! You're the one Reiner has punched! "

"…Uh?"

"Ah, I mean Berthold's boyfriend! You know, the article, and all that stuff!"

In the corner of his eye, Eren could see that Armin was fighting against his own laugh. And at that moment, he just felt quite miserable. Why ? Why the first thing someone had to think, the first time he or she met him, was that very moment of his life?

Blushing a little in discomfort, he coughed softly. "Y-yeah, it's me…"

And she laughed. Surprisingly, it wasn't a mocking laughter, but more an amused one. "Waaaah, I wanted to see how you were sooo bad!" she babbled, half talking half laughing.

_Wait a sec_…

Eren blinked a few times, not sure of what was happening. She wasn't mad at him? Well, that was great then, but he couldn't find the reason. He offended a friend of hers, but she didn't care? That was his chance. She looked nice, was pretty, and well. He was single for so long –okay, maybe six months weren't that long- and was quite in a need for some cuddles. And he was at a party. Best place to find someone, even for just a sweet night. An elbow in the ribs stopped him for thinking farther and he glanced at Armin who was still there, smiling. A rather forced smile this time as the young man was looking at him.

"By the way Sasha, is Bert' here yet?"

"Nope!"

She wasn't paying attention to Eren anymore, and he pouted a little. Eh, wasn't Armin gay? Why did he have to take her away?

"He'll come later; he has some late shift tonight."

"Ah, that's sad! But maybe that's better for both Eren and Bert' for now."

"Hey, don't talk as if I wasn't here…"

"It won't change anything, will it?"

Sasha was laughing again. And it was kind of wonderful to hear that honest laughter, making Eren smiled despite him and the situation.

"WHY THE FUCK IS THAT BASTARD HERE!?"

"Shhhhhhht calm down Jean! Come back here! AND PUT THAT CHAIR ON THE FLOOR!"

During a second, a curious scene happened. From a opened door where Sasha'd come before, Jean had appeared a few seconds, his cheeks red like cherries, and –curiously- a chair in his hands. When the guy had seen him, it was the same as a bull in front of red stuff. He got on the nerves and ready to charge. But the voice coming from the room immediately calmed him; the chair was promptly back on the floor and Jean gave up in a second on Eren who was still in the entrance.

Well. That was quite weird. Jean was rather a proud person, so he wouldn't act like that.

Or…

Wait, wasn't he drunk, as Sasha had said?

"Here we are already," Armin sighed.

"He's almost dead!" Sasha giggled. "I think Marco is with him."

"You prepared a room for them?"

"As usual!"

Armin let out a small laughter this time and Eren raised an eyebrow, curious. "I wonder when they'll be a thing, it's been so long…" the Blondie said.

"Wait, Gayshtein doesn't already have a–HUMPPPHHHH–"

Eren chocked, coughing a bit hard when he felt the strong elbow meeting again with his ribs. The pain shut him up quickly. Never underestimate Armin. He looked like some tiny blond doll, but he was rather strong.

What, problem with 'Gayshtein'?

"Come with me," Sasha said turning her heels. "before that dumbass drinks everything."

Eren sneered a little following her. Armin was by her side, whispering at her ear –and he really disliked when he was pushed aside like that. But it made Sasha giggled softly –and well, she really had a nice bottom-, so why not.

The first room, where were Jean and Marco indeed, was a rather big kitchen. The table looked so small in here that it was almost ridiculous. Silent, Jean was sitting on a chair, his elbows on the edge of the table, looking at Eren when he saw him again. "Why's that guy here?" Eren heard him mumble. A small smack at the back of his head shut him down and he took another drink, pouting. Quiet, Marco just made a quick gesture to salute them, looking quite weird and troubled. Well, Marco always looked like he wanted to disappear, feeling uncomfortable in anyplace, but that was rather different. It wasn't that discomfort related to his huge disgraceful scar across his face on the right side. Marco was used to them and they were ok with his looks. Even Eren knew him since his childhood –and even if as a child, Marco hadn't that ugly scar, he heard of something like a terrible accident. The day when it happened, not so long ago, Jean had left work, running as if his life depended on it.

Marco's cheeks were red like tomatoes, despite all his freckles across his face. What the fuck did th—

"Oh no, I don't wanna know…" Eren suddenly whispered, looking up to the ceiling of the kitchen.

By his sides, Armin sighed and grabbed him by the arm, putting him back in the corridor. "Well Eren, Connie's somewhere in the house, I leave you here for now, ok?"

Eren felt a long shiver go along his spine. He was pretty sure the man had planned this part from the beginning, and the idea of being alone in this place did make him uncomfortable. But not as much as Marco at the moment, thanks god.

"Uh, o-okay" he said.

He didn't really know what was the scariest. Being alone in a place full of people who didn't like him –actually he didn't really mind about that- or being alone in Connie's house without even knowing where she was or even how she looked like now –ok he was fucking scared at the idea that he could do some fucking huge mistake around her.

As Sasha had stayed with Armin, Jean and Marco, Eren was definitely alone in the corridor. It was bigger than he would have thought from the outside. The door in front of the kitchen was just opening on…Toilets. Ok, pretty good to know it. He sighed, walking in the corridor.

And why was that fucking corridor SO large by the way? It was just so useless, a waste of place! He could have asked Sasha or Armin as they knew the place pretty well –or he thought so. Farther, there was the living room. A large living room, or rather it looked large due to the incredible place there was around each furniture. A few people were there, drinking or eating, some others playing to some family game or so.

A small girl chuckled sweetly, and for a second he had a hope. But she was blond, her skin so pale, that it was impossible. But she was cute, with small pink lips, her hands clapping with amusement every times a man around the table was losing or winning. She might be cold: she was wearing a jacket, something so enormous that it was clearly not hers. By her sides, a colossal man, with short blond hair, was playing, a grin on his face.

Wait.

He knew that face. Or rather, his own face remembered that guy's fist pretty well.

"May I help you?" A voice suddenly came out.

Eren started, turning his eyes from her and looking for the origin of the voice. Behind himself. And a new shiver took him when he recognize…

"Hey, Berthold! Finally here?" The giant exclaimed at that moment. "Wait, isn't it Jaeger? What's going on?"

Eren felt a blush going across his cheeks pretty fast. He didn't really know how to react there, right at the moment. But the big guy didn't looked bad or in the mood to punch him again, so maybe it would be ok…?

Berthold had walked, passing Eren who was still in the doorway. "Finished earlier finally," the tall man said taking a sit.

"Pretty cool then, come play with us. Jaeger, what's wrong?"

Obviously they would act as if nothing had happened, even if the reason wasn't so clear.

"N-nothing," he replied.

"Looking for someone?"

Eren gave a look around him. There was that small girl (woman? He wasn't sure, she looked so young), but no trace of someone who could be Connie. No long dark curls. No caramel-colored eyes. No slightly tanned skin (just Berthold's, and the guy wasn't exactly what he was aiming for).

Connie wasn't there.

Eren quickly cleared his throat, pulling himself together and gave a –pretty weak but real- smile.

"Uh, not really, I'm…Err, a bit lost I think? I've just arrived with Armin…"

Well, he wouldn't say that he was looking for Connie. It just would sound…Weird? Interested? Something like that. And Armin told him to take care. So he did. The giant man (the guy looked like some blond Rambo by the way) had a big and loud laughter. "Ah yeah, so Bert' was just behind you then!"

Eren blushed a little. He didn't even notice the discreet man before he appeared in his back the minute before. "Y-yes, maybe…"

"Wanna join?"

Eren glanced at the game, not really sure of what he should say. Yes, no? He wanted to find Connie so bad! But in another hand, he had an occasion to make up with those guys, and maybe show another image of himself. It was a chance. So he shrugged a little, quite unsure but nodded anyway. Oh god, how was he able to do and think two sooooo different things? He wanted and didn't want at the same time. But once he got a chair under his ass, he didn't think any more about it. Actually, with some cards in his hands, a glass of some drink (he didn't even know what but it smelt like alcohol so he was quite ok with that at the moment) in front of him, he felt more at ease, cheered by the loud laughter surrounding him.

"Next!" a deep and loud voice suddenly said.

Eren blinked a little. Oh god, how many turns? He couldn't remember how many times he heard that 'next', the blond Rambo (Reiner was his name, actually) almost yelling stronger and stronger at each glass he drank. Eren felt quite dizzy, and he'd always like that state before being completely wasted like Jean was when they found him.

How many hours had passed? He couldn't tell. But the game was funny (more and more after all those drinks actually) and those guys were really saying silly things.

"Maaaaaan where's Connie again?" Someone suddenly yawned, taking a card.

In the steam already wrapping his mind, Eren almost started at the name, and paid some fake attention to his own game.

"Bedroom," Reiner answered. "Or garden, dunno."

The man sounded like he drank too much too. His words, even if they were still properly enounced and as loud as always to be heard by anybody in the room, started to be quite hesitating.

"What a sad birthday!" the small girl complained (named Christa by the way but Eren wasn't really in the mood to think about it. More interested by her boobs and her small and cute cleavage.)

Reiner laughed a little, stretching an arm to the center of the table full of cards (it was quite messy after some hours of gaming and drinking), and shrugged.

"Remember last year? THAT was sad."

"Uh, right…" she mumbled, her lips pursing a little.

Quite curious, Eren shook his head a few times before asking. His vision got blurry for a few seconds, then fixed pretty fast according to himself. "Hey Rambo! What happened last year?"

"Don't call me Rambo, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"Yeah yeah, but?"

A few of them smiled gently and Reiner looked at Berthold. "Well, Connie's boyfriend broke up…Hum, the day before?"

"Na, right on that morning."

"Ah yeah, forgot that small detail!"

Eren took another drink, licking his lips. "You mean she's single?"

A giggle first answered him, someone coughing something that sounded like "Diva Donnie!" and Reiner had to wave with his hand to make some silence. Or something like that, as nobody could stay quiet at that drunk state. "Quiiiiiiiiiite…Not. Dunno, depends on days I think!"

"Man, what's that?"

"Yeaaah Connie's free!" another one laughed loudly.

"For now!" Reiner added with a large grin.

Thanks god, Eren was still sober-minded enough to help his smile back of his face. Even if the answer was pretty weird, but those guys were quite dead at the moment. Rambo looked like he could deal with alcohol pretty well though, but Berthold had gave up already, his forehead on his arms crossed on the table.

"Bert's sleeping?" the young Christa asked.

"See…"

Reiner leaned a little to the brown man, reaching him with a hand. There, he just slid the tip of a finger along Berthold's nose, earning a soft growl from him and a small smack on his hand.

" 'Neeeer…" he moaned.

"Oh well, he isn't!" they all laughed.

"You'd be cuter if even you'd be sleeping, dumbass!"

"Fff I mgn't min' mfff…"

"Wait, what?"

"He doesn't mind, I think?"

"God, Eren, how comes you can still talk and understand properly?"

"Same for you, Rambo!"

It was all easier than what he thought. Talking with them, having fun even if at first he didn't know them from something else than a strong fist in his face. And actually he was feeling more and more…Drunk. He knew his limits and that was what had saved him for now but the night wasn't done.

From the kitchen, they could hear some high laughter, recognizing easily Sasha's funny laughter. "What are they doing?" Eren asked, curious.

But at the same time, he didn't really want to join them. After all, Armin left him like some old sock.

"Jean might be dancing now."

A wave of quiet laughter at the idea shook them all. "Maaaaaan he's wasted already!"

"As usual!"

"Oh god, poor Marco!"

"Do you think he's going to try that stupid lap dance on him again?"

"That was the funniest thing ever! That was just such a…"

"…Fucking big fail!"

"YEAH!"

At the idea of Jean wriggling on top of Marco, Eren held back a wince, but that was quite his limit. Rambo might have seen him, raising an eyebrow but kept silent about it. They were all so enthusiastic talking about how Jean could try to get Marco (oh god, what was the point of talking about it? That was so abnormally gay; did they at least get it?) that no one was paying attention to him.

"You're pale Eren," Reiner suddenly said. "Go out and take a breath before you throw all your drinks out."

"You may be right!" Eren tried to look a bit wasted, more than what he thought. And finally it wasn't so hard to do; when he stood up, the whole room looked like a giant wave of colors, the floor rolling under his feet.

The loud sound of his own body hitting the ground was quite weird to hear, and for a moment he laid there trying to figure if he felt the pain or if he was that drunk not to feel anything.

Ok. He was that dead, finally. But he really could feel the strong hand grabbing his arm and trying to lift him.

"You're heavy, man!" he could hear Reiner sighed. "Bert', stop sleeping and come help me!"

A weird noise answered to blond Rambo and it was obvious that the tall man wasn't able to even stand up from his chair, with such a pathetic growl. "You're fucking useless! How am I supposed to…"

"M'not uzzzzz—"

Laughter from the table cut Berthold in his attempt to make a sentence –again-, and a small giggle suddenly reached Eren ears. This time, it wasn't from the group of people stuck around the table, and he saw Reiner raising his head to the door of the living room. Himself he couldn't do that much more than what he was already trying: getting on his feet and failing from so far, so the only view he had was barely more than the floor –nice and clean- and Reiner who was too close, stretching his arms to pull him up.

"Need some help, Rein'?" a soft and amused voice asked.

There was something in it, or rather, a sound Eren couldn't point quite well. Something metallic? Something rolling? His blurry vision couldn't help a lot; he just knew that something was coming and didn't understand what is was.

"Wow, isn't that Charles Xavier!" a voice yelled from the table.

Well, Christa sounded pretty happy, Eren could say it was her voice. A chuckle answered to her, with a "I'm not a X-men!" from the new one. Well, a man. He sighed a little despite himself, giving up on his attempts to get on his feet by himself. He should have count the amount of glasses he'd drunk. He knew that sitting all that time was a bad idea and already regretted that kind of things once then he was younger.

Eren could see the smile on Reiner's face get larger and larger for the new man. Jeeeeez, another gay. For sure, and Eren winced again at the idea of a whole house full or gay people. What the fuck was wrong with them all, really? Thanks god, there were cute girls like Sasha and Christa! Just the two of them actually, but that was better than nothing. Well. And Connie. Connie had to be even better than the both of them. SHE HAD TO. There was no way that she wasn't.

And there was no way that he could think differently.

"I F'CKING W'NNA SEE HIS FACE!" Jean's voice suddenly came out from the kitchen, loud and with some difficulties to sound properly. "LEMME SEE IT! DAMN YOU MARCO I'M G'NNA FUCK Y'RE F'CKING CUTE ASS IF Y'DON'T LEMME SEE THAT!"

Ok. The guy was totally dead, and it was definitely worse than when Eren had seen him a few hours earlier.

The weird noise came again to his ears and still he couldn't point out what it was. His eyelids were heavier and heavier as he lied on the floor and it was hard to fight against something so natural like sleeping when you're fucking drunk.

Reiner breathed a bit deeply, trying to lift Eren's weight higher than what he had done until now.

"Put that guy on my knees," the man said. "He'll go on the guest room."

"I'm surprised that Jean is still alive," Reiner laughed.

Eren felt the moves, or rather the difference of surfaces under his body. His state from 'not really drunk' to 'fucking wasted' had changed so suddenly that he wasn't sure of what was happening at the moment, but he wasn't on the floor at all. Reiner managed to put him on something quite soft and warm, and something like a strong arm held him firmly across his waist.

"Better there, right?"

It took Eren a few seconds to understand that it was addressed to him, and when he did, he just nodded slowly. Better than the cold floor, yeah, right. But it was an odd feeling to be there, as he still couldn't understand what was happening.

A giggle came from Reiner who had stood up. "He looks like some baby! You'd be a nice father, Charles!"

"Shut up, Rein'!" the man sighed.

"Were you writing 'till now?"

"Yeah."

"Again? Maaaan…You forgot it was your birthday, I guess."

"Even if I wanted, you're so noisy that I couldn't, Rein'." The man chuckled again.

"I'm noooot noisy, but they are!" Reiner growled.

"Yeah, yeah. Just help me with the doors."

"Yes sir."

Laughter came from around them, and in the kitchen there'd been a big noise and some screams. It sounded like Armin's voice, Marco's and maybe Sasha's. Eren couldn't hear them well. "Ah, Jean broke something I guess…" Reiner sighed.

"Once again. Remind me to take him away from drinks next time, 'kay?"

"Must be hard."

"Yeah…By the way, that guy's pretty dead, what did you give him?"

Reiner sneered a little and patted a little on Eren's shoulder. The young man had been put on his side, facing the body he was on. "Weeeeell, my special cocktail!"

"You're awful, really…"

"Just some revenge for something. He might understand."

"You're so sweet, Gaybo," Eren managed to enunciate.

A silence answered, and even drunk like hell, Eren could feel that something wasn't going pretty well and it took him several seconds to figure out why and what.

_Fuck_.

A cramped laughter came from the body he was laying on. "New nickname, Rein'?"

A fist hit his shoulder (quite painful even through all the alcohol he had drank), and Eren heard the giant blond man groaned. "He's dead, he called me Rambo the whole evening. I guess he doesn't even remember his own name!"

OK. So that was an advice. Mumbling with no meanings in stupid words like a dead drunk man would do, Eren followed what was the best : shutting his mouth, as long as he wasn't able to hold it for now. Armin was right : he had to be careful.

"S-so, help me to the room," the man finally said.

"Yeah, yeah…"

The weird noise came again, differently. It was from under them, and they were moving. Oh god. They were moving, and that guy wasn't even agitating a toe! Feeling suddenly uneasy and understress because he didn't know at all what was happening to him, what's more in a house he didn't even know from something else than the kitchen and living room, Eren opened his eyes wide. The only think he saw was that dark red shirt, unbuttoned for half a part at the top.

That was fucking right: he was on someone's knees, and that 'someone' wasn't moving by himself. The arm was still holding him, the other one resting on an something looking like an armchair. He couldn't see more from where he was, and both curious and stressed he tried to move.

"T-t-t-t-t," the man said, adding his second arm to maintain Eren. "You're gonna fall, don't move. It'll be better in a few time, don't worry."

Despite himself, Eren groaned, trying to call for Armin. Actually, the thin man was the only person he could rely on. Connie's presence had never been proved in the whole party until now, and Eren finally thought it was quite a try to help him be better with all those guys.

"Armin?"

Oh yeah, that guy was clever. He understood the most important word. Reiner's voice came soon too. "He's Armin's friend. Dunno that guy."

FUCKING LIAR YOU RAMBO!

Was what Eren wished he could yell at the big man, but he kept his mouth shut, thinking about a way to take his revenge next time.

"Really? Well, if Armin brought him here, I guess he's ok."

"He's funny, by the way."

"If you say so…"

Thanks guys, stop talking about me above me. Frustration was beginning to overwhelm Eren as he couldn't say a thing. It was for Armin. Great, keep your mouth shut, Eren. You can do it. You're drunk, don't talk, for God's sake.

Swallowing thickly, Eren finally closed his eyes again, trying to understand every little thing surrounding him. Quite hard to do.

Another sound hit his ears. A light step, someone rushing in the corridor maybe, and he could hear Christa's voice reach them.

"Hey! Tell me you're coming back after that!"

"Yeah, I will, that my birthday after all…!"

"Okay, see you Con'!"

A chuckle and she was gone.

And the corridor fell into silence as they were still moving.

And Eren couldn't help but count his heartbeats.

He was sure he missed a few of them.

Con' was Connie's shortcut.

Connie was there.

And he was lying on Connie's knees.

AND SOMETHING WAS SO WRONG WITH ALL THAT.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

When Eren opened his eyes, he found himself laying on his side. Under his body, there was a soft mattress, and a warm blanket had been spread all over the bed, covering him. Feeling completely lost, he blinked a few time, trying to figure where he actually was. Well, somewhere…? It must have been a bedroom –as there was a bed, indeed Sherlock Holmes.

It was quiet. What had happened? He could barely remember right now but…

_Wait a sec. _

The birthday party. Reiner. The drinks.

And Connie.

At that very moment, he held his breath for a few moments, before moving a hand and pinching himself quite hard. The small pain in his arm made him growl a little, and he sat slowly on the bed, rubbing his face with his palm. He wasn't sure about what had really happened in the end. He just could remember the legs under his body –and that very part was quite a problem for his understanding when being drunk as hell-, and…Maybe the hands of Reiner when the guy had thrown him on the bed –yeah the guy THREW him on the bed! LITERALLY. It was just a huge blank after that.

Reality couldn't be that weird, and what's more he didn't get everything, as drunk as he was earlier. There were parts he couldn't understand. And it couldn't be his Connie –he was still so stuck on this point. Probably another one –if that 'Con' really was some 'Connie' after all, but his mind only managed to see the Only One.

A bit disturbed, he quickly checked on himself with a hesitating hand : all his clothes were still in place, even his socks. Just his shoes were missing, someone might have taken them off before putting the blanket over him. And he sighed; no one had dared do something so gay.

From where he was, he could see a ray of light from the crack under the door, but when he started moving from the mattress there was a small motion at his sides, taking his attention. And he stopped right away, focusing on the sound. In the darkness, he didn't even think about the idea that he may not be alone in the bed. A growl confirmed the presence of a human being. Seems that he wasn't the only one thrown on the bed like some trash bag.

"M'rcoooo—"

And Eren fell from the bed trying to rush out of the sheets when he recognized the growling voice, the words lost somewhere in a drunk sleep. The sound of his own fall eventually awoke him a little, his own moan –weak and pitiful- reminding him that he still wasn't feeling that great, and his headache started making him regret his presence to the party.

The curtains of the bedroom weren't closed and when the silence was back, he noticed a small clamor coming from out of the room. They were still there, keeping on drinking and talking. His legs weren't as assured as he would have thought, and if he had to think about it, it might have not been a long time since he fall asleep. Maybe an hour, or two. He felt like he could walk, but heknew he wasn't that confident in all his motions.

Another growl from the bed made him rush a little more. Oh god, how did he happen to sleep in the same bed as Kirshtein, the most gay guy in their company (after Armin of course)? At least he was lucky that the guy was sleeping –and that Armin couldn't read his mind just by looking at his face.

Tottering a little, he managed to reached the door. The corridor's lights made him blind for a moment, until he got used the lightning. He was in that too large corridor, again, the door closing in his back, with that small clank when the latch locked. The voices were a little more higher on this side of the door, he noticed, and he decided to follow them until he could find some landmarks. If he didn't agree about being alone with Jean in a bedroom, he was much more ok being in the middle of those gay guys surrounding him earlier in the living room.

When he got to the big room, the light had grown brighter compared to earlier, making it difficult to look without blinking a lot. Laughter suddenly caught him, and he blinked, again, finally making up through the light.

"Oh, already back?" he heard a voice.

It was Reiner. The blond Rambo had given up on his chair and was quite limp in the big sofa in the middle on the room. Some new glass –full of some drink- in his hand, he waved with the other one to get Eren attention.

"Feel better?"

Eren nodded. Sitting at Reiner side, there was still Berthold. The brown-haired man looked a bit more alive than before when he was almost sleeping on the table, and was talking to some young man, one he had never seen before. He looked quite…Common? No, that wasn't really it. But he didn't know why, the guy looked familiar. But Eren was pretty sure he had never seen him before. It was some small and weak young man, with a slightly tanned skin, big smiling brown eyes as he was talking with Berthold without even noticing the presence of Eren. He was smiling so much, maybe a little drunk –or actually Eren was pretty sure the guy had drunk enough to be far away from them, due to the glass full of something looking like what Reiner had put in his own glass earlier- and Berthold was often rubbing his head with his palm and a smile –some fucking gay smile by the way, oh god.

That guy was bald.

"Still dizzy…" Eren mumbled coming closer to Reiner.

The big blond had a loud laughter, one of those he'd gratified them the whole evening with. "Hangover?"

"Soon, Rambo, thanks to you."

"Jeez, stop calling me Rambo! You should thank Charles-Xavier by the way, he's the one who had carried you to the room when you were looking like some carpet."

Reiner was talking with a slow voice to be sure about what he was saying, making some of their friends smile and giggle at him. He winced a couple of times, finally grinning with them, lifting his hand to show his glass still here, not empty at all, but not really full anymore.

"Hey, Rambo, stop calling me like that!" suddenly said a voice.

A bit curious, Eren turned his attention to the origin of the call. That guy. The bald one. Smiling so much, apparently ready to make some silly comments. Actually, Eren knew that voice. He'd heard it before and wasn't sure what he was looking at that moment. The bald head, carefully shaved, or that fucking…

Oh god.

Eren blinked a few time, trying to understand everything despite his headache. Oh, now he could get that small joke about X-men, Charles-Xavier and stuff. It wasn't a funny joke actually. He also suddenly understood how the guy managed to bring him to the room without even moving a leg.

That guy was in a fucking wheelchair, sitting against the sofa as if he was on it, Berthold leaning above the armrest like it was an old habit.

Feeling uncomfortable, Eren stayed quiet. He didn't really know what to say, only able to stare at the bald guy, who was…Actually doing the same, looking quite surprised. And he finally talked, rubbing his head in some gesture of discomfort. "Wha-what? Something on my face?"

"Yeah yeah, there's your nose, I guess!" Reiner said out loud, with a big laughter.

Eren shook his head, feeling a bit ill-at-ease about his own attitude. Staring at some disabled person wasn't in his habits, but he'd been caught for now and felt like he'd missed something. Where the fuck was that man when they were all here before? He didn't arrive here in the middle of the night, for god's sake!

And Reiner finally got something, raising his eyebrows before looking at the new man. "Hey! Haven't you called me Rambo just now?"

A soft chuckle. "Yeah, you said he didn't stop calling you like that and that sounded pretty good for you! Kind of Barbie Rambo!"

A wave of giggles, and Reiner sighed loudly before shrugging. "At least I'm not a X-men!"

"Jeez, stop it already, big tits!"

"Wha— Bert'! Don't stop me!"

Eren blinked a few times more. Well, they got along pretty good, and everything there was actually quite natural, the exchange between the two (three when Berthold was taking part of it) of them finally becoming quite funny.

"There's no ice anymooooore!" Christa suddenly complained, her sweet face appearing in the entrance. She might be back from the kitchen. "Connie! I'm sure you have something!"

She looked adorably drunk, leaning on the wall to stay straight on her feet. But at least she was still able to walk by herself.

But Eren had frozen. Deeply. _Connie_? Did he hear it well? Discreetly, he glanced around himself, trying to catch who was that _Connie_. Because he didn't see any Connie.

That's why, when the young man in the wheelchair started to move, his hands rubbing the thin wheels, yelling some happy "Gonna show you!" and leaving the living room with the girl, Eren felt…Pretty bad.

Ok.

So much.

Bad enough to feel the floor under his ass before he could understand that his legs were so limp again under him.

"Falling again?" Reiner snorted with a grin.

"Fucking god…"

"Without 'fucking' and you almost have my second name" Reiner giggled.

Berthold let out a deep sigh hearing Reiner's stupid comments, and finally shook his head softly.

Slowly, Eren tried to gather himself together. Ok. Everything was ok. It was just…she'd called for 'Connie', right, and that guy answered, but maybe he wasn't Connie, uh? He might have answered for someone else instead. Yeah, that was it.

But he remembered pretty well that moment, when he was dying on Charles-Xavier's knees (What? After all he didn't know his real name!) and she called him 'Con'.

"Eh, Rambo…" he finally managed to say.

"Uh? Don't call me God again?"

"Shut up…Who…"

Eren hesitated a little more. It was just some fucking question about a random man! HE FUCKING DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT !

"Who's that guy by the way?"

"Oh, you don't know Connie? I thought you knew it's his birthday party! Oh, wait, but you already know it, right?"

Reiner's voice tone was quite weird at that moment, pretty scoffer. Eren lifted his eyes up to the man who didn't look so drunk actually (but he was, almost crawling down from the sofa). Reiner sighed heavily, and with his hand waved at Berthold who was giving them a long and annoyed glare.

"Bert', make sure Connie won't be back too early."

The tall man nodded slowly, and as slowly as his answer he managed to get up from the sofa and walk to the corridor where he disappeared.

Finally, Reiner slid on the floor to join Eren (and well, actually the floor was safer than the sofa if there was any risk for him to fall), grinning widely. Eren swallowed, unsure about the situation but let the guy act like he wanted to.

"S-so, what's the meaning of all that?" he mumbled.

Reiner giggled a little. "Well, as I told you, that guy's Connie. And today's his birthday, man."

Eren didn't know how to feel. Actually, tons of ideas where coming all together to his mind, most of them saying that it wasn't at all the same person he was looking for, but somewhere there were too much of weird things.

"I see, b-b-but…Armin, uh, how to say…"

"What Armin?"

Reiner's tone was almost soft, and his so low voice was pretty odd at that moment. Maybe it was due to the other people screaming, laughing so hard and loud at the table not so far from them. It was almost like Reiner didn't want them to hear about their little talk.

Eren hesitated a little. "W-well, Armin told me I knew Connie, buuut…I think there's…Some misunderstanding…?"

He'd finally choose that option. It wasn't his Connie, no matter how. Maybe he wanted a bit too much from this night. From everything actually.

By his sides, Reiner sighed loudly, and stared at him remaining silent for a few moments, before he shook his head.

"You're as blind as I've been told then."

"Wha—"

"So, you moved thirteen years ago?"

Eren blinked.

"Uh? Ah, yeah but how—"

"Connie told me."

"You mean Armin," Eren sighed. "God, you're drunk !"

Reiner chuckled and nodded silently at that ascertainment. "Yeah, I am. But even like that, I know what I'm talking about. Just a bit slower than expected…"

"What's all that?" Eren asked with a deep scowl.

"Have you ever thought about the reason Connie never replied anymore to your letters?"

At that moment, Eren fell into silence. There was something wrong with that. He stared for a moment at Reiner, waiting (im)patiently for more. Somehow, it was hard to concentrate: his headache was still there, but his stomach was starting some horrible dance.

"Curious?" Reiner grinned.

"You bet I am. Armin doesn't know about that part. So?"

"He knows, of course."

"Never told him."

"Someone else, then. Eren, I fucking know who you are, and I still don't get how things might have happened to be that way."

"Go sleep, drunk, guess you'll tell me better tomorrow, uh." Eren shook his head, quite annoyed by the turn of the chat. It was hard to focus on Reiner as the guy was still talking so slow and in a so low voice.

"Na. Just a question, then!"

"Mh?"

Reiner's smile grew bigger and he leaned a little to Eren.

"What do you think about a worm and a bird?"

"What the…"

His eyes opened wide, and Eren couldn't stop looking at the man. That question. Actually the only one who asked him once was Connie. But well, definitely, it was Reiner here, right?

And so he tried not to look too much troubled.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Rambo?"

"You've read the book, I know it, but Connie doesn't fucking know."

Oh, that. Eren pursed a little his lips, not sure how he should act. Armin talked too much, obviously.

"None of your business, Rambo. That's just my job."

"I've already noticed with Bert', yeah."

"Shut up."

"Seriously…You really don't get that all?"

"Oy, you're heavy there. That's enough, don't you think?"

"Ah, just wanted some suspense!" Reiner giggled again. "But since you think Connie didn't write the book you're working on…"

"What about that book again?"

"Connie and Connie are the same person, y'know?"

"Silly talking…"

"Yeah yeah but I'm right, at least."

Sighing loudly, Eren let himself fall on the floor and stayed there, laying heavily. Reiner was obviously trying to say something, but the way he was doing it wasn't the best. Even if Eren kind of could understand what the man wanted to tell him.

And he really didn't want to hear it.

Reality sucked that much.

"Connie doesn't know who you are, today."

It fell like a splash. A huge splash. And Eren shifted his eyes to Reiner, unsure. "What?"

Reiner's gold eyes turned to Eren, making sure the guy was attentive. And he sure was.

"He doesn't even know that you're some Eren guy. " he grinded with a low voice.

Eren turned on his side to face the man, scowling a bit.

"What do you mean?"

He definitely couldn't avoid the huge grin on Reiner's lips. And Eren couldn't really say if it was something positive or not for himself.

"You're here as 'Armin's friend', man. Not even 'Eren'. Plus I know a lot about you, forgot about it?"

"You don't—"

Reiner lowed his voice, even more than before, with a small glare to the few people playing at the table. They couldn't hear them, and Eren felt quite thankful to Reiner with what followed.

"I know Armin since highschool, you can be sure I know a lot of things, mister Homophobic. You already met with my fist, remember."

Eren winced deeply at the memory. It was quite true, but that didn't change anything. "Leave me, Rambo," he breathed. "Don't wanna hear about what you think, as much as you don't wanna know what I think."

"Also know that's all due to your sis'."

A pause. Eren couldn't point out if the room was suddenly silent, or if it was his mind and ears, only focusing on Reiner's voice. His eyes opened wide and he held his breath for a few seconds, waiting.

For a moment, he just felt bad. Like, really bad, something like he would be sick in a second, his stomach suddenly wriggling dreadfully. And he wanted to put his fist into Reiner's face, but gave up the second after the thought came.

"You don't know anything," he muttered, shifting his attention back to the ceiling.

"I told you. I know more than you think."

"I've never told Armin about that, so I doubt that you—"

"You've told Connie."

A blank.

And this time, Eren couldn't avoid the subject. He could feel himself breathing with some difficulties. Swallowing thickly, he licked his lips in a quick gesture, and hoped Reiner wasn't looking that much at him. That could be taken, eeerrrr…Weirdly? He knew pretty well about Reiner's tendencies and didn't want to be involved in that type of things.

"You don't ask me how I know?" Reiner smirked.

Actually, Eren wasn't sure if he still wanted to know anything. As about meeting Connie again, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to do it after all that. Somehow, he was feeling like he'd lost something so much important and yet he couldn't let himself live in denial.

And what's more…

Oh god.

"Hey," Reiner groaned again. "Say something, I feel a bit like talking to myself!"

"I'm—"

Eren swallowed again, focusing on the ceiling as strong as he could. He could perceive some motions by his side, where Reiner was laying.

"Yeah, what?"

"Gonna throw up…"

"WHAA-! NOT HERE JERK!"

"Uuuuuh…"

"How comes you're so sick _now_? You should have been earlier !"

Coughing between two short throws of vomit, Eren hesitated only for an instant before avoiding shaking his head.

"Dun-n-no…" he managed to say.

At least, Reiner had stopped talking about Connie, and it wasn't so bad. Leaning on the toilets wide opened, Eren was still coughing and vomiting at the same time, filling the lavatory as long as he could handle it. He couldn't breath very well, his breath sounding quite jerky.

On his head, he could feel the big, warm hand of Reiner, the long and thick fingers holding back his bangs. Well, he'd rather choose not to be treated so gently by the guy, but at that very moment he was so much more busy with his vomiting condition.

From where they were now, they could hear all the small noises coming from the kitchen. Some soft chuckles, sounds of bottles and glasses (and at the thought of a glass full of alcohol, Eren threw up again).

"God, still at it? When will you be done?"

He heard Reiner sighing, and the fingers moved a little on his forehead.

"You're sweating," the big blond noticed.

"Get out, R-r-rambo…!" he winced.

Groaning a little, Eren let his chin rest against the edge of the porcelain toilets. The smell of alcohol and old dishes was quite awful and he wished he was finally empty of all that. "Oh fuck…I'm so…"

"Mmmh?"

"F-f-fuck," Eren repeated again.

"Does he feel better?"

Eren almost blenched at the voice from behind them, and he could feel Reiner's hand tightening his grip on his hair.

"Yeah, think he's almost done," he heard from Reiner.

Rambo's voice sounded softer than before. Eren spited in the mix of vomit, water and whatever-it-was, trying to get rid of the taste on his tongue. He couldn't turn at that moment to look at the guy who was talking to Reiner. He couldn't and he didn't want. Right? At least he could convince himself.

Yeah, he could.

Not.

He was already trying to eye behind him in the corner of his eye. His breath was still quite jerky, and he didn't know if he was glad for the smell to let him know that all this was the fucking reality.

He'd always hated reality, that was for sure. No matter how things looked like, he still couldn't deal with all that.

Why? Actually, he had to admit his defeat. He'd understood that all long ago. But he didn't want to believe that truth. Again and again.

"Ah, Eren's here!" suddenly said Connie's voice.

And Eren froze. What the…?

"Ah yeah," he heard from Reiner who was chuckling a little, not letting go on his hair. "He finally shows his little face!"

Eren could hear a soft laughter; it was Connie's tone, but something was weird.

"Ereeeen," Connie called again. "There, there, sweetheart!"

A soft noise answered, and at that moment, Eren could sightsee something small running, barely the high of their ankles and jumping on the base of the wheelchair. And a small and weak meow came to his ears.

"What the hell…?" he mumbled, not even leaving his lavatory.

Behind him –wait, the guy was even leaning against him, Eren could feel his heavy body on his back and that thing against his ass wasn't at all a fucking arm shape-, Reiner chuckled a little before whispering in his ear "Well, Connie has a cute cat…Like…Really cute."

"Yeah yeah, 'kay but why that...That fucking name?"

"Find out by yourself, dumbass." Reiner smirked.

"You're too closed, go away !"

"What, got a problem?"

It was definitely NOT an arm against his ass. Just some fucking big cock erected in Reiner's trousers. Swallowing slowly at the image he got, Eren suddenly shifted, almost jumping on reiner to pin him on the hard floor, threatening the man with a hand curled into a fist.

"YOU DAMN FUCKING FAGGOT! DARE YOU TOUCH MY ASS WITH YOUR—"

Luckily, Reiner had stopped his fist before it reached his face –ok that guy was pretty strong. But before Eren could even think about another attack on the blond male, he felt the floor disappear from under his legs and foot as he was straddling Reiner on the wood ground. Something strong had grabbed him by the back of his collar and shoulders, and his body was harshly put on the knees he'd already met earlier.

"Reiner, stop it and go with the others," Eren heard.

It was Connie. But his tone wasn't as soft as before, and from his place, Eren could only see the big guy nod. In a second, the blond Rambo had got quiet and wasn't even trying to explain what had happened. He obeyed, standing on his feet with some difficulties –probably due to all the alcohol he'd drank until now.

"We're going out," Connie added to Eren.

Still feeling like some shit after his throwing up session, Eren could only groan a little and wait as the chair was moving: he hated that sensation, when he was even unable to use his body the way he wanted. If he hadn't been wasted, he could have shut Reiner up easier.

And again, there was that strong arm around him, holding his body like nothing.

"Fuck…" he murmured, mostly to himself but he felt the grip tightening onto him.

Connie might have been using some rail or something: Eren felt some weird things happening in his stomach, like into a soft looping even if his head was still in the good sense. And suddenly, the cold air of the outside was biting his face and he growled again. "What are you doing? Leave me!"

Eren heard the small clap of the door behind them and he lifted his eyes up, looking around them. They were in a small garden, probably behind the small house. One, two trees, and Eren could recognize an apple tree, even without the leaves, flowers and fruits on it.

And as he was trying to move a bit more, he was suddenly thrown away from the knees of the man. Surprised like hell, forgetting immediately the small pain in his side as he met the ground, Eren blinked a little before staring at…

Well, at Connie.

"What's your problem, man?" the young bald man said. "You might be Armin's friend or boyfriend or anything you want, I assume you know the rules perfectly under that roof."

Even if he still didn't want to believe about the identity of the guy, Eren had to admit: that small pouting face, the way the lips were curving, pursing a little, was exactly the way 'Connie' would, with those big brown eyes.

Eren sat on his bottom. "You might not know but that guy just put his fucking dick against my ass!"

"And ? Reiner's all wasted, he wouldn't even be able to do more than it, I'm sure. The rules are pretty clear : no fight or insults. If he'd do anything, you just had to scream and someone would have come right away!"

"What the…" Eren couldn't really get it. What, was it so simple to them? Someone attacks you from behind when you're in a pitiful condition and you just have to yell for someone to save you? "There's no way I'd let such a big fag touch me! God, thinking about that kind of jerk make me vomit!"

"_Oh_ _really_?" Connie's harsh tone hurt Eren's ear. "Then I guess you have nothing to do here. Go home, or anything. You don't have to handle our presence anymore."

Suddenly, Eren felt ill-at-ease hearing Connie. Did 'she' ever use such a lofty tone before when she talked? She was a child but…She did. She did when he was saying nasty things against this or that. That was the only way she had found for him to listen carefully.

He felt bad, so fucking bad, and wasn't sure if he really wanted to stay here, with the real Connie he was meeting, or if he'd rather prefer running back home right now and keep on living with a fake memory of some sweet and female Connie.

"Tss. What's wrong with Armin…" Connie eventually mumbled loudly. "With such awful tastes…Holy shit, why did they even let you come in…"

And finally, he raised an eyebrow –and Eren was sure about it even if they were in some deep darkness outdoor, because he knew the old Connie's habits. "Wait, I don't even know who you are, by the way, how comes?"

Eren winced a little before standing on his feet, slowly and still feeling bad and dizzy in his own body. He shook his head a little, not sure if he really had to answer. Reiner had already made his best for Connie not to understand who he was, and Eren had perfectly gotten it –he wasn't that stupid.

"Ah, hum, well, uuuh…"

_PleaselookwastedErenpleaselookwastedandasifyoucantrememberyournameforgodsake_…

The door behind Connie suddenly opened, pushing a little against the wheelchair. "Ah Eren, you are here! Armin is…Oh, s'rry Con'!" It was Christa's soft voice, still a bit damaged due to the amount of alcohol she'd drunk before.

Nevertheless, she'd caught his attention and…Connie's. For sure. Even here in the darkness of the night, Eren could see his big eyes grew even bigger, staring at him.

"Eren?" he murmured. "How co—"

"AAAAA—AAAAH! Christaaaaa!"

HE JUST COULDN'T. He couldn't let Connie say it. Not NOW. He suddenly didn't feel ready and just…Yelled at Christa. Like…Literally. She opened her eyes wide when Eren almost jumped on her, pushing her inside and leaving Connie on place.

Well, it hadn't been that easy to do, with his legs feeling like some cotton and Eren had to make a huge effort not to fall while rushing inside. He had to admit : he avoided Connie's gaze all along and passed by the wheelchair without looking at him, focusing as much as possible on Christa's face.

And now? Now he was in the middle of the corridor, still holding Christa's arm firmly, and she yelped a little. Taking off his hand of her, he mumbled some apologies before rubbing his hair with his fingers, unsure about what he should do.

"Ah Eren, you're here!" he heard again, this time behind him.

Shifting his eyes to the voice, he discovers with some pleasure Sasha who was coming toward them. She was still with that large smile, some crackers in a hand. Eren gave a quick look at the door not so far; even through the glass door, he couldn't see the shape of Connie and his chair anymore. He might have go further in the garden, not in view at the moment.

"Uh, looking for me?" he asked.

"Gonna see Ymiiiiir!" Christa sang before heading softly to the living room. The place still sounded quite noisy, and Reiner's big laughter was hearable from here.

"Yeah, " Sasha said with a quick look at Christa who was already disappearing. "I didn't know that you already woke up!"

"Oh, yeah…I, I was just walking a little for, uh…"

"You were the one throwing up earlier, I'm sure!"

Eren sighed softly. Well. Sasha might be one of those persons with as much tact as an elephant in a porcelain shop.

"Right…"

"So you're the yelling one as well!"

"Oh god, you heard it?"

She laughed a little, and ate some more crackers. "I think everyone did!"

Eren frowned a little, already imagining: Berthold might have understood who the 'yelling one' was too –and Reiner must have told them if any question. Ok, actually he didn't care that much about those two. What's more, Reiner did something disgusting and all he wanted to do at the moment was giving a fucking high kick in the big bond balls.

A few minutes later, he was in the large kitchen, sitting in a wood chair and not sure if he really could still be here. A bowl full of crackers was in front of him, taunting him. Sighing loudly, he was drinking slowly something that looked like some orange juice. Something sweet, alcohol-less, and it was a better taste than the aftertaste of vomit.

She hadn't drunk as much as the others, but still, she was babbling quite a lot anyway, trying to eat and drink at the same time –still so much and so fast that even if she'd been sober she would have choked anyway.

"Hey, Sasha…" he finally said, and he had to wait until she stopped coughing again. "How long have you known Connie…?"

She paused a few seconds, visibly trying to think about the question, then: "So long actually, why?"

Eren shrugged a little. He didn't know the answer, but in a certain way he thought that maybe knowing that she knew Connie for years would be kind of comforting. It wasn't at all. "I've missed something," he said in a low voice, and she had to lean a little to hear him. Or maybe it was due to the sound of the crackers she was still eating one by one. It was quite funny to look at her like that.

She swallowed slowly with a small genuine smile. "Really? Why do you say such a thing?"

He sighed, finally resting his chin in his palm, his elbow remaining on the edge of the table. "Well…Could you believe it, I wonder…Even I, I'm not sure about that all after all…" he started. At that very moment, she stopped eating (and it looked quite weird to see that, for real), staring at him. Seriously.

"Wanna tell me?"

And she looked so sweet. Even with crumbles at the corner of her lips –actually it looked cute, she reminded him of a little girl.

Looking down on the table, he hesitated a little before going on. "Uh…I've known a Connie when I was a kid…" he murmured. "B-but it wasn't…I mean, I've known a _girl _!"

"And what?" she asked softly.

Eren took a deep breath, trying to make things more clear. At least for himself, in his mind. Of course, Sasha would not understand what was his problem. "And now, well I told you I wasn't sure, uh? I was sure that Connie and Connie weren't the same –you understand what I mean?– but…Now I've come to think that maybe…They're the same person…"

She tilted her head a little, thoughtful. "Mmmh, what makes you think that? Connie's a guy, for sure."

"Well, I…I've read that book of his, and, uh…"

"Which one?"

"The bird and the worm thing…"

"Ah yeah, he talked a lot about that way of thinking he has…So he finally decided to publish it into a book?"

Eren blinked a little. "What do you mean?"

Sasha straightened a little on her sit, waving her hand at him. "He got that story since he was a child if I remember, kind of based on his life story. But I'm not the one who's gonna tell you about it, dear!"

She laughed gently when he was making a weird face, trying to figure out what she meant by all that. "You're mean," he mumbled. "You just put a bomb and run away, traitor!"

And she laughed even louder, making him feel a bit better. She was sweet, not really acting 'cute' but still she was, in some way.

"How comes you live with that guy, by the way?" Eren suddenly asked.

She looked up at the ceiling, thinking a little, then smiled again. "Oh well, dunno, we were already roommates in high school dormitories, and we kept on living like that…"

A bit confused at that idea, Eren raised an eyebrow. As Sasha was a girl, there was no way a normal school would accept for her to sleep with a guy. "Wait, dormitories? How comes? That's not—"

But before he could even go further in his sentence, a figure appeared in the entrance of the kitchen, and Eren glanced at the one interrupting their conversation. Actually, it was Berthold, who looked a bit tired and was giving them a perplex look.

"Sasha, next step and you'll have to go in your room, 'kay?" the tall man sighed.

She chuckled a little, softly –and oh so nicely that Eren couldn't help but smile. And at that moment only, he noticed how closed they got while talking together. Maybe since the moment she started leaning to hear him better. Maybe not. Maybe before. He could almost smell her perfume –something chocolaty, he couldn't remember the name of that perfume for kids that smelt like chocolate and vanilla. He could eat her right away, it wouldn't be a problem.

Glancing at Berthold, she laughed, her hand back in the crackers bowl, nodding. "Yeah yeah, we'll think about that Bert'!" and Eren raised an eyebrow at that. Well, that was quite an invitation. Quite curious, he moved a bit his hand hidden under the table, reaching for her knee. She didn't blench at the contact, but he noticed the way she way softly blushing, innocently in a way. Terribly cute. She just caught his fingers before they could go further under the skirt, and he smile through the kiss.

Ok, then.

Some one-night stand wasn't that bad, and he quite appreciated the idea of sleeping with a pretty girl like Sasha.

And as easily as it finally was, putting aside all that stuff about Connie and everything –especially Berthold's presence-, he suddenly leaned to Sasha, aiming for a soft kiss on her lips.

She tasted like crackers.

Not bad. And it was funny.

"I, uh, I leave you alone," he heard from Berthold's voice.

He could hear the sound of his feet on the floor. Voices, far away in the living room. Sasha had some soft laughter, and the next thing he felt was her hand sliding in his neck.

Finally, it wasn't such a bad night after all.


End file.
